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This morning I joined Hoda and Kathie Lee on the Today Show to talk about the etiquette of regifting at the holidays.
I'm of two minds on this one--on the one hand, I get it. We're busy, we don't want to be wasteful, we need to economize. Besides, no one will ever know. You hope.
That's where my hesitation comes in--is it worth damaging a relationship with someone to save a little time or money on a gift? And even if you pull it off, it was inherently deceitful, which goes against one of the basic principles of etiquette--honesty.
Personally, I avoid this on a whole. I might regift a bottle of wine (as you can see in the segment, linked above), but that's about it. If you have something extra, or something you can't use, give it (unwrapped) to a friend who might enjoy it, "Sara, I have an extra copy of this book--would you like it?"
If you are going to regift--because sometimes the situation is too perfect not to-- be sure to follow these guidelines:
1. Only regift an item to someone if you truly think they would enjoy it. In other words, don't dump it on them just to get rid of it.
2. Only give items that are new and in their original packaging--nothing unique or handmade.
3. Never regift if you think it might upset either the person who gave the item to you, or the person to whom you are giving, should they find out.
What do you think? Is regifting okay? Have you done it? Do you think you've ever received a "regift"?
(And I can't sign off without telling you how cool it was to see Sigourney Weaver and Bette Midler, who were on the Today Show right before me! These ladies are as gorgeous and poised off camera as they are on.)
The pleasure of your company is requested....
The Emily Post Institute will be hosting a one-day wedding etiquette training for wedding professionals this winter in sunny San Diego, on Monday, January 26, 2009. My aunt, Peggy Post, and I will lead an intensive day filled with courses on how to confidently navigate wedding etiquette traditions and new trends.
You already come to our table with extensive knowledge and experience. Now, backed by Emily Post, you can give your clients the confidence that you’re the final word on wedding etiquette. Not bad when the bride and her mother are discussing (read: fighting tooth and nail) over technical points of wedding invitation wording, reception seating, gift registries and the bride's bouquet. We know you often become the mediator, and we will give you the insight into wedding etiquette to be able to navigate any situation that arises--even the ones you can't find in a book.
Peggy and I always have so much fun answering questions at book signing and events, and now we have the chance to spend the entire day sharing our expertise with you, answering all of your questions. The day includes a formal five-course dinner at the Zagat awarding-winning Grant Grill at The US Grant Hotel, and the complete six-book Emily Post wedding library. To keep things intimate, the group will be limited to 30 spaces, which are already filling up.
We hope you can join us. Please RSVP by December 31, 2008.
