Wish List...or Black List This Holiday?

It's all well and good to budget time and money for holiday shopping, but that won't help you one bit if you don't know what to get for someone! Contrary to all the head scratching out there, it is okay to simply ask someone what they'd like. But if you are living in Ron Weasley-like fear of getting another ugly sweater, how do you get the message out yourself about what you'd really like to unwrap this holiday?

Kids have been writing wish lists to Santa Claus for years and years, and now adults are joining in with online wish lists. I'm hearing from a lot of people, though, who are worried it isn't polite to send one on to friends and family. Rest assured that like most technology, it can be a terrific tool if it's used right. It's perfectly fine to create and send an online wish list, so long as you follow a few guidelines:

1. Only forward your wish list to tech-savvy friends and family
2. Keep the list of people you send to to a minimum: people who really would be looking to buy you a gift
3. Ask for reasonably priced things: if it would be too much to ask in person, don't try to slip it into a wish list
4. Send a personal message along with your wish list, letting people know these are suggestions
5. Most importantly: the choice of a gift is always up to the giver in the end

One danger to avoid: letting stores call your friends and family to let them know about your wish list. I spoke with the Wall Street Journal about this issue recently, and had an interesting conversation with the reporter about where the line should be drawn, and why. (Check out the article here.) The bottom list is that letting a store call a loved one about an item you like puts a lot of pressure on them to buy something immediately. And in a holiday already overrun with commercialism, it makes the act of gift giving more of a business transaction by adding a middleman to the mix. If you liked something, let someone know yourself, whether in person, on the phone, or with an e-mailed wish list.

And remember, wish lists are exactly that--a list of wishes, not demands! And the best way for you to keep the holiday spirit alive a little longer is to refrain from checking your own list once it's made--it's the same as peeking in mom's closet!