What Would Emily Post Do?

Intel Survey Says: Tech Etiquette at the Holidays Still Matters

By Anna Post

Early this summer I read the results of a tech etiquette survey that Intel did with Harris Interactive and shared some of my thoughts about it with you. As fate would have it, I was lucky enough to collaborate recently with Intel on their Tech Tea, a press event held in October at the Russian Tea room in New York City.

The focus of the event was to release the results of a second tech etiquette survey done with Harris, this one focusing in part on the etiquette of mobile device use at the holidays, and to invite the press to join in a discussion of technology etiquette. I spoke at the event on a panel with Dr. Genevieve Bell, Intel’s cultural anthropologist (pictured with me, above), about the survey results and tech etiquette in general, and then we opened the discussion to the room.

The survey was a springboard for some great conversation with the press:

• Is it okay to use a use a laptop or cell phone while in a public bathroom? Everyone at the Tech Tea agreed: no way! But a whopping 75 percent of survey respondents thought it was perfectly appropriate.
• Can you use a mobile device during a date? A sensible 60 percent said no, and I agree: Your date deserves all of your attention.
  
  
• Does business today demand you be connected all the time? 55 percent agreed, and I think a number split down the middle like that suggests both a yes and no answer, something I would agree with. It depends on the situation, and on how we choose to react to it.

Dr. Bell nailed it when she said, "The social rules for new technologies are continuing to be established across cultures and geographies around the world, and etiquette will continue to change and adapt over time along with it." I couldn’t agree more, though I do hope we trend away from taking a phone call while in a public bathroom stall!

The Intel survey also took a look at how we use technology around the holidays. Since it’s that time of year, here are a few of the survey results, as well as some extra tips to get you through the season—and ensure you’ll be invited back.

1. Offline etiquette 101: Be on time for family dinners. No one likes waiting while the food gets cold!
   
   
2. To keep airport security lines running smoothly, 36 percent agree you should skip using mobile devices until you clear security. You need to pay attention, and your line-mates will thank you for being ready when it’s your turn.
    
3. No texting or app use at the table! A majority of hosts would be offended to find a guest surreptitiously checking a mobile device under the table. Leave them off and in your coat or bag, and wait until after everyone is up from the table to check your email or the ball game score. Are you the host? It's okay to announce "phones off!" with a smile at the beginning of the meal.
   
   
4. 87 percent agree: Never text or make a call during a religious service. If you really (really, really) must, first discreetly step outside.
   
   
5. Even though 88 percent of respondents say they wouldn’t mind an emailed thank you instead of a handwritten note for a gift, I’m going to hold firm and suggest you pull out the pen and paper: Sometimes the medium is the message, and this one says they and the gift they gave you are worth the time and effort of a personal note. (Though an emailed one is certainly better than none!)

Twitter: If It's Good Enough for Oprah, It's Good Enough for Me

by Anna Post

Today I joined Twitter.  www.twitter.com/AnnaPost. Up until now I had felt like one of those hold outs who wouldn't read Harry Potter or see Juno because of the hype.

Silly me. The forum is perfect for little etiquette quirks I hear about or links to interesting news that I either don't have enough to say about in a blog, or more usually, don't have the time to do justice to in a blog.  One of my first tweets today was on the now-public email rant that DC Congressional staffer Elizabeth Becton made about someone calling her "Liz." There are so many etiquette angles about it I would love to explore:

• avoid nicknames unless you are sure it's okay
• call or see someone if an email goes South--as The New York Times reported, in the absence of tone or voice or facial expression our interpretation defaults to the negative
• your image in business isn't yours alone, it's also your company's, or in this case, Congressman's
• emails seem private in business; they aren't
• good etiquette doesn't use ALL CAPS
• good etiquette corrects without chastising
• good etiquette accepts apologies
• good etiquette... well, you get the idea

However, I simply don't have time in my schedule today to give more than an outline. But I still want all of you to enjoy the ridiculousness of it! Enter Twitter.

And yes, my correct-usage-of-the-English-language loving mother is now calling me a Twit. She gets the whole Twitter thing, but it sure is making her laugh awful loud.