What Would Emily Post Do?

Look to the Big Apple for Big Day Inspiration

by Anna Post

Traveling to New York this week I was thrilled to see the latest New York Magazine wedding issue on newsstands. I've long been a fan of their savvy approach to all things weddings: chic and modern, smart and sexy. The vendors may have 212 area codes, but the pages offer inspiration for all. My personal favs in this issue:

p. 24. Have an art student address your invites

p. 26. Modern cake toppers

p.  44. Stacey's wedding dress

p. 46. Melissa's hair piece

p. 57. Cake! Divine!

p. 61. Answering my book's question "Do I Have to Wear White?", no! (Love the purple option.)

p. 73. Leave it to me to love the Vera Wang "price upon request" dress...

p. 80. Flowers! Swoon!

p. 85. J. Crew answers every bridesmaid's wish: a dress you can wear again.

p. 91. Natalie & Pete's save-the-date

Real Weddings, Real Inspiration: Inside Weddings Magazine Launches New Website

by Anna Post

"Etiquette is not some rigid code of manners; it is simply how persons' live touch one another."

Emily Post said this in 1922, and I think it's worth saying again in 2009. Inside Weddings magazine, for which I write a back-page column, just launched a revamped website, insideweddings.com. The photos are stunning, and the ideas and advice are inspiring, and the fashion is sheer delight.

My favorite part is the "Real Weddings" section. With hundreds of real--not "real"--weddings to peruse, I felt like a little girl again, dreaming about the perfect big day. It's like the Sunday New York Times' wedding section--only bigger and better. And because they are real weddings, they feel something I don't feel often in this economy--they feel very possible.

Having lived in Italy while in college, the picture above, of a wedding at the Grand Del Mar in Southern California, drew me in for its Italian-like romanticism. I've never met this couple, but their story charmed my Monday morning. The focus of etiquette is how our lives touch one another; Inside Weddings' new website mirrors this beautifully by focusing on the real people behind inspiring weddings.

I love the focus on real couples--real lives--touching our imaginations. Which real wedding on their site resonated with you?

The Art of Etiquette

by Anna Post

 

Beautiful, witty, and made entirely from the pages of a copy of Emily Post's Etiquette, Virginia Fitzgerald's life-size "Dress of Etiquette" is currently showing at the Danforth Museum in Massachusetts. But don't go looking for one in your size, ladies: This wedding dress was made art, not for a walk down the aisle. 

Love Reigns Supreme on Wedding Stamps

With wedding season upon us, the U.S. Postal Service announced new wedding stamps on May 1. However, my personal favorites are the new first class "Love: King and Queen of Hearts" stamps. Just remember to check envelope weight, as these are 44¢--perfect for RSVP card envelopes or, as I'm using them, for thank-you notes.

And if these option don't tickle your fancy, you can always have custom stamps made with your own images or photos at stamps.com.

Spring Cleaning at Emily Post

by Anna Post

It's been a busy week at The Emily Post Institute. We are moving our offices internally, and we've been cleaning up and cleaning out. As we dug deep into our archives and research libraries we made some charming discoveries, including a twenty year old copy of Charles Panati's "Extraordinary Origins of Everyday Things."

In between reading about the origins of nursery rhymes, hairdryers, Frisbees, and button-down shirts (gents, you have one of the original Brooks brothers to blame),  there are many entries that deal with established social customs.

For example, why are engagement rings usually diamonds? Though the wedding ring dates back almost four thousand years to ancient Egypt, the diamond engagement ring is much newer, relatively speaking. It came out of Venice during its heyday in the late fifteenth century:

"The Venetians were the first to discover that the diamond is one of the hardest, most enduring substances in nature, and that fine cutting and polishing releases its brilliance. Diamonds, set in bands of silver and god, become popular for betrothal rings among wealthy Venetians toward the close of the fifteenth century. Rarity and cost limited their rapid proliferation throughout Europe, but their intrinsic appeal guaranteed them a future. By the seventeenth century, the diamond ring had become the most popular, sought-after statement of a European engagement."

I always enjoy knowing the reasons behind the traditions that are so much a part of my job, so I'll sprinkle a few more of these into upcoming blogs.

You're Invited: Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette For Wedding Professionals, June 2009

The pleasure of your company is requested...

The Emily Post Institute will be hosting our second one-day wedding etiquette training for wedding professionals this summer in beautiful Bonita Springs, FL, on Tuesday, June 2, 2009. My aunt, Peggy Post, and I will lead an intensive day filled with courses on how to confidently navigate your brides and their families through wedding etiquette traditions and new trends.

Our first training in San Diego this January was such a huge success we decided we could wait another year to do it again. I was truly amazed at the depth of interest and experience that was shared and exchanged over the course of the day. It far exceeded my expectations, and was lots of fun to boot!

So we know that you come to our table with extensive knowledge and experience. Now, backed by Emily Post, you can give your clients the confidence that you’re the final word on wedding etiquette. Not bad when the bride and her mother are discussing (read: fighting tooth and nail) over technical points of wedding invitation wording, reception seating, gift registries and the bride's bouquet. We know you often become the mediator, and we will give you the insight into wedding etiquette to be able to navigate any situation that arises--even the ones you can't find in a book.

Peggy and I always have so much fun answering questions at book signing and events, and we're excited to have the chance to spend the entire day sharing our expertise with you again, answering all of your questions. The day includes a formal lunch at the Hyatt Regency Coconut Point Resort & Spa, the complete six-book Emily Post wedding library, and more. To keep the conversation intimate, the group will be limited to 30 spaces, which are already filling up.

We hope you can join us! To learn more, click on the link above, or contact Dawn Stanyon at 802-860-1814 or at [email protected]

Equal Opportunity Wedding Etiquette

by Anna Post

The Vermont state legislature voted today to overturn Governor Jim Douglas' veto allowing gays and lesbians to marry, making Vermont the fourth state to allow same-sex marriage (and the first by legislative vote). Nine years ago, Vermont became the first state to allow civil unions for same-sex couples. Living in Vermont then, as I do now, I remember the public debates. I also remember the conversation here at The Emily Post Institute, as we examined our books to be sure we covered the emerging question of same-sex unions. I was pleased to find there weren't too many differences then, and there aren't now, either.

When I'm asked questions about how heterosexual marriage traditions translate to same-sex unions and marriages, I find I almost always give the same answer: You have pretty much all the same options as anyone else. It's a very equal-opportunity process no matter the gender pairing in question; you can look to tradition as a model, but just as many heterosexual couples have reason to adapt or abandon certain traditions, so do same-sex couples.

Would you like to cut the cake and feed each other pieces? Have a first dance? Toss a bouquet? It's all about what makes sense and is meaningful to you and your guests. I attended a same-sex wedding ceremony in December, and the grooms chose to walk down the aisle together, hand-in-hand. This was a beautiful adaptation of the classic bride's tradition, and the guests all clapped when they saw the couple together. The crowd usually cheers when the couple embraces for the first time as a married couple at the end of the ceremony--but this time we saw them together from the very beginning, creating a very different energy for the ceremony. No etiquette was broken; in fact, it was perfect for this couple, and therefore the best choice.

Choice is a key word. Brides marrying brides and grooms marrying grooms are not heterosexual couples, and it should never be assumed that one person will play the "part" of bride or groom. Incorporate gender traditions only when they are meaningful to you. When Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi married, Ellen wore a simple white pant suit (as is her normal style) and Portia a full-on wedding dress. The ladies looked lovely, but they could just as easily have both worn pants or both worn bridal gowns. It all comes down to being true to yourselves and respectful of your guests, whether you're gay or straight. Satisfy that, and the rest is just details.

Anniversay Gift List, Updated for the Electronic Age

I was doing some research today on why different gifts are given for different anniversaries (such as paper for a first anniversary, wood for a fifth, or silver for a 25th). Specifically, I was looking for why pearls are given on a 30th anniversary.

My mom, Tricia Post, who works behind the scenes at the Emily Post Institute, came across this suggested "gifts for geeks" list by blogger Alexandra Samuel. Instead of the obvious pearl earrings or necklace, for example, they suggest a Blackberry Pearl. Love it!

Check out the rest of the list for fun, modern twists on old traditions. They give appropriate explanations for the new upgrades, too. For example, give circuit boards or software upgrades for a seventh anniversary gift, because circuit boards are made with copper circuits, the traditional seventh anniversary gift (along with wool).

PS--if anyone does know why pearls are given as a 30th anniversary gift, I would love to hear about it! I think I may have the reason, which I'll post soon.

"Do I Have To Wear White?" New Wedding Book Now In Stores!

 My second book, Do I Have To Wear White? Emily Post Answers America's Top Wedding Questions (Collins, January 2009), is now available in book stores everywhere!

This book answers all of the most popular questions I'm asked about wedding etiquette, such as:

"My fiancé and I are only inviting sixty people to our wedding, but many friends and relatives we weren’t planning to include seem to be inviting themselves: 'Let us know when you set the date—we’re really looking forward to it!'

How do we tell them they won’t be invited?"

In the coming weeks I'll be touring the country to sign books and answer your questions in person. My list of appearances includes:

• Dallas: Wednesday, Jan. 14 at 6pm, 51 Highland Park Village


• Atlanta: Thursday, Jan. 15 at 6:30pm, 3393 Peachtree Road NE


• Chicago: Sunday, Jan. 18 at 10am, Oakbrook Center


• New York City: Thursday, Jan. 22 at 6pm, Shops At Columbus Circle


• San Francisco: Sunday, Jan. 25 at 10am, 340 Post Street

Hope to see you there!

 

You're Invited: Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette For Wedding Professionals

The pleasure of your company is requested....

 

The Emily Post Institute will be hosting a one-day wedding etiquette training for wedding professionals this winter in sunny San Diego, on Monday, January 26, 2009. My aunt, Peggy Post, and I will lead an intensive day filled with courses on how to confidently navigate wedding etiquette traditions and new trends.

You already come to our table with extensive knowledge and experience. Now, backed by Emily Post, you can give your clients the confidence that you’re the final word on wedding etiquette. Not bad when the bride and her mother are discussing (read: fighting tooth and nail) over technical points of wedding invitation wording, reception seating, gift registries and the bride's bouquet. We know you often become the mediator, and we will give you the insight into wedding etiquette to be able to navigate any situation that arises--even the ones you can't find in a book.

Peggy and I always have so much fun answering questions at book signing and events, and now we have the chance to spend the entire day sharing our expertise with you, answering all of your questions. The day includes a formal five-course dinner at the Zagat awarding-winning Grant Grill at The US Grant Hotel, and the complete six-book Emily Post wedding library. To keep things intimate, the group will be limited to 30 spaces, which are already filling up.

We hope you can join us. Please RSVP by December 31, 2008.